Resident kids often feel especially insecure when their parent’s time gets taken away from them and put on their sibling. Of course, you and I know it is understandable for parents to focus on the new child, especially if the child is having a hard time adjusting to the new family.
In the midst of those transitions, resident kids often get very stressed when they have less time with parents. So, what’s a parent to do when their time is limited but they want to show their resident child that they are there for them?
I have found that using “The 5 Love Languages™” can help parents strapped for time to actively demonstrate love to their child who is feeling felt out. It’s interesting to think that we all have a particular ‘language of love’ that is unique to us – a certain way we express love to others and how we best receive love. The book The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, has been a best seller for many years due to its simple method of categorizing the different ways that people give and receive love.
Some children’s primary love language is time spent with, but even for those kids, they will respond favorably to a secondary ‘language’. I would like to encourage you to learn your child’s top two love languages so you can incorporate their ‘language’ into the love gestures you give them, in effect telling them “I see you.”
In our newest book, In the Best Interest: Preventing Secondary Trauma in Siblings of Foster and Adopted Children, we show you practical steps to incorporate the Five Love Languages into your parenting. The book will be released in the summer of 2020.
For more information on the Love Languages, go to their website: